Navigating Social Events with Celiac
How do we prepare for social events with a new celiac diagnosis?
Food is a central part of so many social functions. We utilize food as a way to bond within our culture and across cultures, finding food at the center of birthday parties, holiday gatherings, and more. Therefore, I think navigating social events can be one of the toughest aspects of a celiac diagnosis because there's a lot of planning involved to prevent your child from feeling left out. Not to mention, there’s the teaching component should you have a friend or family member that really wants to accommodate your child. Let’s talk about both.
The Planning
So your child comes home and hands you a birthday party invitation. You check the calendar-they can go but you then start to realize you have some to-do’s other than buying the birthday kid a present:
You need to call the parent of the child to see about the menu for the day to determine what is and isn’t GF
Make note of the snacks or food you need to pack your child in order for them to have options when everyone else is eating the cake, pizza, etc.
When a friend or family member does want to cook for your child, you have to be honest about the risks associated with cross contamination. I highly recommend you come up with a 2 minute elevator speech about the important precautions they would have to take for a child with a celiac diagnosis. From the start, it is crucial that you are upfront before they commit to cooking or baking a GF treat. I also think it’s important to talk to your child first about their feelings around someone else preparing food for them. Every child has different thoughts, feelings, and fears around accidental gluten ingestion and if your child is typically more anxious, it’s probably not worth all the hassle. When you allow another to take over, it’s sometimes more stressful for everyone involved-it’s anxiety inducing for you because you’re wondering if they actually followed all of your instructions to prevent your child from getting sick; it’s stressful for them because they may not feel comfortable but wanted to be nice and accommodating…Most importantly, the situation is risky for your child because they are the one taking that leap of faith.
Advocating For Oneself
The other piece I want to discuss is helping your child advocate for themselves in social situations.
You know you won’t be able to attend every event with your child so it’s important to role play some situations with them so they can feel prepared. Regardless of your child’s age, it’s helpful to initiate these kinds of conversations at the start, when they’re still familiarizing themself with their celiac diagnosis.
For example, if you’re preparing 8 year old Louise for her first sleepover, discuss how she can handle mealtimes. If she’s offered pizza, she can respond with “I have celiac disease so I can’t eat anything with gluten. If I do, I can get really sick.” If the family responds with “how can we accommodate you?,” make sure your child knows of a few safe food items that they can refer to or have a few workarounds. For instance, she could enjoy a cheeseburger but without a bun, being mindful that the burger or cheese isn’t coming into contact with anything with remnants of gluten (i.e. cutting board, knife). Before Louise even leaves for the sleepover, she has to get in the habit of packing some back-up snacks in case there’s limited options at her friend’s house. There’s unfortunately more planning involved than you or your child may like but the benefits certainly outweigh the costs of getting sick or your child not eating enough.
I know there are a lot of other social situations that I didn’t get a chance to cover-one big one being how to navigate restaurants with a celiac diagnosis, but that will be covered more in detail in another blog post. Stay tuned. :)