The Pressure to Become a Gluten Free Family
How do I make things “fair” at home when some of my kids don’t want to be gluten free?
When a family is at the beginning stages of their celiac journey, there’s a lot of reflection around if the whole family should go gluten free for the safety of the child with celiac. It is a big decision to make and I’m not one to advise whether you should become a gluten free family or shouldn’t. I recognize that every family functions in different ways to make things work. Maybe you live in an area where you don’t have easy access to a lot of GF options or maybe it’s too expensive to be a gluten free household…Regardless, I know outside factors can play into your decision.
Family Time is Gluten Free Time
For those larger households, with some having celiac while others do not, I have some thoughts on how to manage. First, for inclusivity purposes and ease of preparation, try and have your main meals be gluten free. From conversations with the mamas (and the occasional dads!!) out there, it can be exhausting to have to prepare two separate meals for your family. You already have so much on your plate so having to add that extra work into your schedule all the time probably feels overwhelming. Not to mention, how aware you have to be while cooking in order to avoid any cross contamination. :( So, I would advise you to set a precedent with your other children and spouse that when you’re sitting down as a family, the meal is going to be gluten free. This also allows your child with celiac to not feel any different than their other family members at home. Especially, because they already can feel excluded in other social environments.
Sibling Takeover
If your child with celiac disease happens to be older and isn’t always home for meal times, allow those to be opportunities for you to not have to abide to the gluten free family rules. You can have your other children be “in charge” and choose what’s for dinner or what’s for breakfast. They’ll likely enjoy this because they get the power of choice without the limitations. Perhaps, these meals become special moments for you and your other children to bond over their favorite foods. The only downside is that you will want to ensure the kitchen clean up is on point because of cross contamination.
To make things more feasible but fair for those siblings who are not gluten-free, I recommend having some pre-packaged snacks available in your kitchen cabinets. These are easy to pack in school lunches and take on the go. Also, they are great options because all the gluten is contained in the packaging. Furthermore, if your non-celiac child utilizes their school cafeteria, that is a great opportunity for them to enjoy those gluten containing foods they don’t get to enjoy as often at home.
Compromise is Key
Regardless of the efforts you make to provide each of your childrens’ favorite snacks and meals, you will have to reason with them once in a while. You don’t have to commit to being a gluten free family but your other child or children will have to be receptive to trying new foods for the safety of their brother and sister. You may find yourself having to have the “we all make sacrifices” talk a little earlier than you’d like but typically kids come around to things quicker than we expect. Fortunately, they’re often protective of their siblings and are willing to be accommodating…most of the time :)