Dining at a Non-Gluten Free Restaurant
When we go out to eat, my child often has a meltdown. How do I avoid this?
Navigating restaurants when your child has celiac disease is not for the faint of heart. We are fortunate enough in this day and age to have some restaurants that will note what dedicated gluten free items are available on their menu. If you live in a metropolitan area, you might even be lucky enough to find dedicated gluten free restaurants.
But, that’s not what I’m here to discuss today. I’m talking about the regular old restaurants that your family knows and loves that you now go into with a different perspective or the new restaurants you’re exploring for the first time.
Prepare for the Dining Experience
1. First, things first-research the restaurant ahead of time. You want to pick a place that has at least 2 or 3 GF options for your child so they have some control over what they’re having for breakfast, lunch or dinner. When your child has choices, the dining experience is much more positive.
2. You want to set expectations before you get to the restaurant. If you’re not going to a dedicated gluten free restaurant, chances are that you’ll come across items on the kids menu that your child wants but are not gluten free. Then, depending on what your child is craving that day, there might be some workarounds that you can advocate for in order for them to get what they want. But always remain clear with your child-you will try your best with the restaurant to make these accommodations but you cannot promise anything. I think the word “I promise” can slip out of our mouth by accident so when a child thinks something is going to go their way and it doesn’t, that leads to the meltdown. The meltdown can feel purposeful or intentional when we know that isn’t the case.
Advocate & Educate
3. Advocate! I’m emphasizing this point to all the passive parents out there that want the best for the kids but struggle to be assertive and upfront with others. You know who you are. :)
When you take your child to a restaurant, you really should NOT assume that the wait staff, cook, or manager knows what you mean when you say celiac disease. They may have heard of it, know a little about it, but they don’t always know the in’s and out’s of food safety. According to a 2022 benchmark survey commissioned by the Beyond Celiac organization, only 50% of the Americans surveyed reported knowing anything about celiac disease. Therefore, it’s on you to educate them and inquire about accommodations for your child. For example, if your child is really wanting tacos and you see they are serving them with flour tortillas, ask if they have corn tortillas in the back. If that’s not an option, see about a lettuce wrap option for your child so they can still enjoy the meat, cheese, and all the other awesome toppings.
If you take it upon yourself to do that, you’re allowing for more options for your child. When they don’t feel heard, that’s when they can become upset and dysregulated. Hence, being kind and firm in setting expectations and then doing your best to advocate will show your child how much you are trying. As you have conversations with restaurant staff, use these as teachable moments with your child so they can better understand the process.
Finally, a last ditch effort to avoid a big meltdown is to always bring some go-to snacks or desserts from home. It’s not easy for them to have to settle all the time so validate those feelings and offer small rewards when they aren’t able to get their first choice. Hopefully, as the celiac patient population becomes more widely recognized, there will be more gluten free restaurants in our future!